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Iblog is a collective blog and the first inclusive platform in Tunisia.

We are born free. Everybody has the right to do whatever he/she wants in his/her life, Women have the right to decide what to do with their bodies including their genitals and uterus. The majority of women who decide to benefit from their basic natural rights; which is a very natural thing to do; are called selfish in our modern society. 

According to the National Health Statistics Report in 2012  : 43 % of American women ages 15 to 44 were childless ,6 % reported being “voluntarily childless,” which, according to the survey, were women "who expect to have no children in their lifetimes." Can we say that almost half of American women are selfish? I think not. If you do, then whatever women’s choice will be you will probably insult them too, which is a behavior to question. In case they have one child here is what you are most likely to say “bring him/her another sister or brother , don’t be SELFISH “ . If they have more than two kids, you will probably hit them with a: “That’s too much. You will not be able to care after them all. You are SELFISH.” Selfishness is such a personal and autocratic adjective   that is applicable  on  all choices anyone can make. Did you ever know that the majority of uteruses and eggs given to science are from childfree women?  Others donate their eggs to infertile women in order to help their motherhood dream come true.

 I always had a question in my head “Why do people have children?” I asked my mother , my aunts , cousins and different women from my surroundings . Their ego’s answers were pretty similar : they wanted to feel loved unconditionally , to have a little creature, dependent of them, to feel important, to have someone that will look like them , have the same nose and hair and  to carry on the family name and wealth. I was told that without children their husband would look for someone else who will make him a father. Isn’t this the pure definition of selfishness? The majority of people are having kids because they can, following their instinct just like all selfish mammals.

 

           Planet earth is becoming more and more crowded; We are speaking here about

Overpopulation. According to history, humans number was under a billion until 1800 and

then it doubled within 130 years by 1930, the third billion was achieved by 1960

the fourth billion by 1974, and the fifth one  in only 13 years . Which means that in 1970, we

had half humans  of what we have today .Thanks to the childfree movement, it will take

extra200 years to double. 

             Shockingly, and despite the huge awareness of the severity of such problem, the

pressure to keep creating new babies still  exists. In case you still ignore the effects of

overpopulation here is some of them : lower life expectancy ,reduction of natural resources,

increased habitat loss,  climate change and global warming, extinction of some species, lack

of potable water, bad quality of life,  appearance of stronger epidemics , unemployment, and

violence. This is just a glimpse of what you and your future children will face.

In this case, childfree women should be respected for their altruism instead of being judged

and hated . Thank you for not making more humans.  Mother earth has enough.

           Among those extra humans on earth, millions of children are being abandoned each

year after surviving traumatic incidences like wars, natural disasters, violence or simply

being an undesired child “There are more than 400000 child  in foster care in the United

States and the majority of them are awaiting adoption”.Only 60 babies under the age of one

were adopted in England last year.”They are in real need of a supportive family who can

give them a home and unconditional love. Why don’t you care about them as much as you

care about your inexistent child ? Because they won’t have your eyes, your chicks, or your

family's genetic predisposition for diabetes? Don’t be selfish, adopt one of them.

        

 

 

                Many misunderstanding women affirm that choosing not to have children is a selfish. , since childfree women are too self-centered to want to take time and refuse to sacrifice their lives  for other human beings. What they ignore is that childfree women are the least selfish at all. In fact by making such choice they are saving natural resources for your unborn kid and making more space and less competition for him/her to survive on a such crowded place .

              “A society with a greedy generation, that doesn’t want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society. […] The choice to not have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.”  This is what said pope Francis who is actually an expert with being childfree. Aren’t all human equal? If it is not accepted for some of them to not have children ,how is that accepted for others?  They may say that priests and nunsare giving their life to God . Also do childfree women as they are devoting their time to science , or teaching, or developing a business or simply to being a good citizen or friend , someone who is  leading a happy, meaningful, productive life.

             Sex and violence are the most fundamental human natural instincts, as described by scientists . I do not see where it was mentioned that women who refuse to reproduce are abnormal and freaks of nature .Human life has changed a lot with the huge technological development. Maybe this claim was true when the human race was living on agriculture and needed more workforces for farming. Today Women have more efficient role in the community and they have more freedom to finance their lives and families. They are satisfying their egos with their own achievements in their careers not with their biological abilities. Life has changed, and so did women’s role in society.

 

         Women are childless not childfree, they secretly dream of motherhood.   They are childfree because of gynecological problems , they cannot find a good partner , their professional career restricted children , they don’t have the time , energy or money  and they are in constant agony because of that. My 80 years old teacher told me that she never stoped wishing for a kid and that sadness has never left her heart and soul. This is not the story told by most of childfree women. Generally all cultural norms suggests that after graduation women have to find a job , get married and start giving birth this is why so many people  jump to the conclusion that if she is  childfree, then  she's somehow sterile  .and they end up having pity for her and her miserable life

         In a nutshell, people will always try to judge, you don’t have to please them or even to explain yourself. Each and every women is free and her decisions have to be respected, such as choosing to give birth or to be childfree because making such decision is hard enough to bring her down physically, socially and emotionally, she doesn’t need more hard times in my humble opinion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

Walker, E. (2011, Junuary 1). Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living By Choice Or By Chance.

Eleftheriou-Smith, L.M. (2015, February 12). Pope Francis: 'The choice not to have children is selfish'. Independent. Retrieved from https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/pope-francis-the-choice-not-to-have-children-is-selfish-10041224.html

What is Overpopulation?. Earth Eclipse.Retrieved from https://www.eartheclipse.com/environment/problems-of-overpopulation.html

Huneven, M. (2015). Childless by Choice. The New York Times. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/15/opinion/sunday/childless-by-choice.html

Tucker, L. (2014, November 8). I used to judge childfree women. The Guardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/nov/08/i-used-to-judge-childfree-women

Unicef. (2017, June 7). Orphans. Retrieved from https://www.unicef.org/media/media_45279.html

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